I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
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Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
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I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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