Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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