fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She tied me up with her honor cords...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
