I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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