Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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