Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
