oh god the rape fog is back!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
