mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
