All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize