I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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