# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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