Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
