Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
