party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
