How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
