dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
