The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
