Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
