I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
