every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
