Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
