Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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