All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
