Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
