So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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