Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
