I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm bleeding and have questions
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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