Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
