just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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