I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
