I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
