bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
how can u be prego again
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
