yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
