if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
