Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
