Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
