I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
