He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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