Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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