I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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