just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap