I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
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the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
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the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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