moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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