He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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