so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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