I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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