Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
