is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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