SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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