think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
