A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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