Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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