not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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