I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize