he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
