This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
