New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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