im drinking this country out of the recession.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize