Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
