The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
