You smell like stripper and shame
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Damn victory sex feels great
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
