whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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