Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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